This is a difficult experience for me to write about, but I think it’s important since it can be such an uncomfortable topic for so many women, and understandably so.💔
It’s also kind of therapeutic as I approach what would have been my due date, so please bear with me.
First of all, I never, EVER thought that miscarriage would be something I would ever have to deal with. Steve and I were so HAPPY to finally be pregnant with baby number two!
So basically the second you find out that you’re expecting you start dreaming and planning. We had names picked out and I already started looking through my newborn boxes in the basement. Every trip to Target ended with me buying tons of unplanned adorable purchases, infant onesies, tiny diapers etc.
And then, there’s the thrilling first trip to the doctor where you hear the little ones heart beat. We went when I was 12 weeks along. I would sadly learn after this that 14 weeks is the important number to make it to. I’ll never forget looking at the ultra sound video, seeing my precious little boy…except he wasn’t moving. I waited and waited for him to move, for a heart to beat.
Steve says he’ll never forget the expression on my face when I finally realized what was happening.
After losing my baby, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
A million things ran through my mind. I’ll never forget my sweet little angel.
I feel the need to share a little encouragement for those of you who are may also be hurting through this horrible experience. For those of you who are lost and embarrassed to ask the questions I wanted to ask and had to find out on my own.
1. Hold your head high.
2. Do not feel guilty.
– this is wrong on so many levels!
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
5. Don’t live in fear.
Fear should have no place in our lives and our decisions.
For whatever reason, I really enjoyed having something physical on my bedside to remind me of my little baby. This might not be for you, but here are some links to different Etsy shops that sell beautiful pieces of jewerly and or little tokens to help you through the process:
Remember this experience will make you a stronger person! So stay strong, don’t fear, and keep on living in love.